Penn and Blake: New beginnings
by PennBlake
Summary: Penn and Blake are brought back into each other's life. Did they ever stop loving each other? What happens when they both can't resists being apart? Being friends with benefits might not be the most ideal thing to do but how stop a feeling when they can't live without each other.
1. Chapter 1

It was rather an unusual night for Blake. She was reflecting on how her life had changed in the past 2 years and she couldn't believe how much she had sacrificed in her life now that she was a married woman but tomorrow, she had to face one of the moments she feared the most and she wasn't sure she was ready... Gossip Girl the movie had been planning for months now and she had agreed to do it. She missed everyone so much especially someone she shouldn't be missing.  
- She was getting ready for her first day of shooting. it was also the first time since two years ago, that she was going to see everyone. She met Leighton occasionally when she was in New-York, but the one she always wanted to see or hear about was Penn. She knew she had no right to ask about how he was doing but even if she wanted to pretend she didn't care, she actually was and not knowing how he was doing killed her. She was wearing her black shorts and a low cut blue blouse. She purposely chose the color black and blue because she knew those were Penn's favorite colors. While putting some cash in her purse, she felt an unwelcome hand around her waist.

" Hey sweetheart! Do you really have to go? You know, you don't have to?" Ryan whispered in her ears behind her

"yes I know, but this is something I want to do"

"Is he gonna be there"

"He? Who you talking about Ryan?"

"Your ex, don't blame me if I get jealous, you guys have known each other for so long"

"There's no reason to, I married you for a reason. You're my present. You have to trust me"

"I do trust you, my love, but I don't trust him. He is the issue"

"Stop being so insecure!"...Alright, I'm going,I'll see you in two weeks okay, you have to be in L.A tomorrow. Don't worry about anything. I love you"

While walking away to the exit door, Ryan gripped her hands, pulled her against him kissing her really hard and whispered "This is just to keep you going during these two weeks...I love you" Blake didn't reply, she definitely cared for Ryan, and felt very comfortable with him, she adored the fact that he could make her laugh even when she felt the worst but Penn was something special and nothing could change that. She knew Ryan trusted her but she wasn't sure If she should trust herself around Penn.

"We'll be there in two minutes, prepare your things" the chauffeur said to Blake.

"Damn it! I'm not ready for this" She was getting more and more nervous by the minute. She was wondering how Penn was feeling about seeing her for the first time in two years... did he miss her? Was it going to be weird? Was he the same goofy Penn she once loved or perhaps still loved? She had no freaking idea.

This was it. She was stepping out of the car holding penny tightly around her arms. To say she was nervous would be such an understatement. She walked in and saw Leighton and ed laughing and some of the crew arranging the sets. It was definitely bigger than the usual sets she was used to and everything looked so professional. She looked everywhere searching for Penn but he was nowhere to be seen...

Blake was standing at the entry door, no one seemed to notice she was here and she was getting a little bit shy so she stayed there standing still at the door waiting for someone to see her...  
"BLAKE LIVELY, Oh My God, the superstar is finally here" Josh Schwartz yelled out... "can we all get your autograph, miss lively?" Josh joked...they both laughed and hugged each other...and others followed to welcome Blake. Ed was the only one Blake hadn't really talked to since the series wrapped up and she was so thrilled to see him. They hugged and ed kissed her cheeks but Leighton interrupted the greetings by pulling ed away from her, and went in for a hug "Blake, you ass, a phone call wouldn't hurt, you know?" Blake faked a smile but replied "i miss you Leigh"... they all went inside catching up on everything they did In the past 2 years.

A couple of minutes later, some screaming school girls were heard outside and Blake knew, the boys had arrived. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Penn being 15 meters away from her. The moment she feared the most was here... "Damn it! just act normal" she thought to herself...

A very flawless guy walked it, with his grey sweatshirt hanging around his waist, his black trousers which gorgeously fitted him and HIS CHEST HAIR peeking out of his V-neck shirt. This person was indeed the guy she once loved, Penn Dayton Badgley!  
He looked so different. This was torture for Blake. She never found him so perfect looking. He was holding his guitar case and he walked in, his eyes not leaving Blake's. She was shaking. Everyone greeted him in. One by one. Except for one very shy person who preferred to stay behind and look from afar. Penn greeted them all and walked slowly towards Blake and fixed her in the eye for what seemed like hours to Blake. He pulled her in and kissed her cheeks " They both starred at each other for some minutes before Penn broke the ice.

-Blake? WOOOOW! you look so different and you somehow remind me of the 11 year old little girl i used to be home-schooled with... You look fantastic"

-thanks...Penn, eummm, you too...errrr...you...look good too..." Penn went in to see the rest of the crew...  
Blake was shaking so bad...She couldn't believe she just muttered like that in front of him. "what is wrong with me" she thought to herself

It was lunch time, everyone took their plates and went in a room to catch up about their lives...  
Penn took a seat on the dining table while Chace, Ed and Leighton followed...Blake arrived in some seconds later and Penn screamed out

"Here, Blake, there's a place next to me"

"damn it!" She whispered to herself... This time she couldn't escape him, she barely could hold the conversation with him and now it just got worst... She had to sit next to him..."now this is going to be so awkward" she thought.  
She went next to him as she had been instructed to. There was some minutes of silence but then the conversation took its course. They were indeed having fun, teasing each other just like before...

-I'm impressed with your fashion choices,Badgley. That jean fits you perfectly"

-Thanks Lively! I'm actually wearing the shirt you gave me for my 23rd birthday.

-oh my gosh! of course. I knew i saw it somewhere... See? I had great choice... I can't believe you still have it.

-Well, I have to admit; I still have everything you ever gave me...

Blake smiled very shyly yet very seductively at him. She didn't know how to react to that... They were both starring at each other... Seconds later, Chace broke the atmosphere, got up and said "Let's all raise our glass... I've missed every single one of you so much, we grew up together, we learned so many things together, and today, I'm proud to say, you guys are my family... To a new beginning"  
"To a new beginning" they all yelled out together.

(One hour later)  
Josh called them all to give them their scripts. Penn and Blake had read the scripts a couple of weeks before and they knew they had most of their scenes together. She was definitely looking forward to working with him again.  
Blake was shocked at how everything was so normal between them. He was still the same goofy Penn, and that was such a relief to her.  
They all had booked the same apartment for the following two weeks. Blake and Leighton went for the shared room while the boys had single rooms. That night they all went to sleep feeling overjoyed of the day they all spent together...

(The following day)

Chace, Ed, and Leighton were all already on set while Penn and Blake were still in their respective room. Their call was for 11 o'clock. Penn knew Blake was alone in her room. He wanted to go see her and catch up but the thought that she was now a married woman was making him nervous. He wasn't sure if it was the appropriate thing to do...Therefore he decided to send her a text instead :  
"Blake, we still have 2 hours before going to set, do you wanna grab a coffee before?"  
...Six Minutes later and there was still no reply from Blake and Penn was getting more and more paranoid.

"Ohhhh fuck! She doesn't want to have coffee with me, damn it! why did I have to text her, she doesn't want to talk to me...of course it will be awkward, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?"

Penn was getting more and more stressed out and irritated while Blake had no idea about the text. She had just gotten out of the shower and she was applying some of her moisturizer on her very lean and slender body... Some minutes later, her phone rang... She ran to pick it up.

"Hello!"

"Blake, ummmm...yeah...so...errr...did you get ...ummm...my text? " Penn was definitely nervous and that really showed in the way he talked to her... Blake giggled a little at seeing how irritated he was.

"nope, i was in the shower! Why? You needed me or something,"

" ummm. Yeah...well, I was thinking that maybe we could have coffee or something cause ummmm...we still...errr... have 2 hours before our call"  
" Ohhh ok, well, I'd rather have coffee at home though cause there's a bunch of paparazzi outside and I don't want scandal and drama if people sees us together having coffee"

" you're probably right, so will you come over to my apartment or should i come to yours?"

" well, we all know that between you and me, I make the best coffee, so how about you come over to mine" Blake replied

"alright, I'll be there in 2 minutes and don't bother opening the door, Leighton gave me her keys anyway" he quickly disconnected the phone...  
"what the hell! I'm not even dressed yet, and he's coming, Ohhh no no no..." she realized she was still naked and of course she couldn't find any underwear at that exact moment..."SHIT!, Where is everything?"  
. She finally saw her panties and quickly put them on...but at that moment, she could already hear her door opening... She was freaking out... "Damn it! Where are these stupid underwear?" Penn was already inside the apartment looking for Blake...

"Blake, you here?"

"fuck! Ohhh no! i mean, yes, I'm here, but give me a second though"

Penn didn't hear most of what she said and it was probably a little too late anyway cause he turned around and saw a very naked Blake who only had her panties on..."shit!" she quickly hid her breast with her hands, trying to hid them...

-"turn around, stupid" Penn burst out laughing so hard. his eyes started to tear up at her reaction but he indeed obey her plea.

-"How can you be laughing like that, you idiot, I was trying to tell you not to come right away but you disconnected the phone so quicky and i couldn't say anything... i can't find any of my clothes in here. Leighton displaced everything..."

Penn couldn't say anything and he bent over backwards laughing like never before...He found this situation very amusing compared to Blake who was freaking the hell out...but then, he saw her bra hanging around the corner right in front of him so he quickly grabbed them,

"Is that what you're looking for"...

"Oh my gosh. yes," Blake walked very slowly towards him while still holding her breasts.

"Give it to me, Penn"

"Why?... I'd rather see you like that than see you wear these things"

"Goshhhhh, Penn! I swear i wanna kill you right now

Penn wanted to turn around so badly knowing she was just behind him but that would make her feel insecure and embarrased so he preferred not to.

"Penn, don't be such a jerk! could you please give it to me now, its not funny, I'm cold and that's just not fair, you ass"

"Tell me that a little bit nicer, I'll probably change my mind!"

"Oh my gosh! fuck you, idiot, I really wanna cut your balls right now! "

"convince me, Blake, try being a little bit nicer"

"Fuck you! you're such an ass..! Damn it! ...urgggg! Alright, alright, I'll be nice... Penn, Sweetheart, could you give me my bra please?"

Penn burst into a creepy laugh and made Blake really angry but he finally gave it to her...

Penn slowly tried to turn around but Blake smacked him in his butt, "I'm not done yet, idiot" they both laughed...

(5 seconds later)

"Are you done now"  
"no"

"and now"  
"no, you ass"

"NOW?"  
"SHUT IT"

"Okay, i don't care if you're not done yet, I'm turning around in 5...4...3...2...1...Here i come! Ready or not"

And as he did, he found Blake wearing the Balconette Bra which beautifully revealed a little bit of cleavage. She was the definition of the perfect woman. Her Full perky breasts, the perfectly tone thin legs, Penn couldn't help himself but to stare at her...

The way he looked at her, in complete silence, made her feel very insecure and shy but she somehow liked it.

Penn was getting closer and closer to her face... But Blake broke the atmosphere and yelled:

"Uhhh-huh! you're a dead man, Penn, run for you life" she shouted...Penn didn't even feel threatened...He got close to her mouth and whispered slowly

"come get me, if you can"...

Penn started running to the opposite direction and Blake ran right after him.

"ohhh darling, tired already?" Penn teased

"Watch me, You're going down today, you jerk!"

They were both dying laughing...But Blake was indeed very fast... The apartment turned into a huge mess...

They both ran around the apartment until Penn got stuck between the bed and a wall and had nowhere to go  
-"where do you think you're going, monsieur" Blake ran towards him and tried to get a grip of him but he kept moving until she finally grabbed his arms and pulled him close to her...

Penn tried to let go but a part of him didn't want to... He wanted to hold her, and nothing could stop him at that moment, within a fraction of a second he was the one holding her arms tight... He was not going to let go of her, they were both breathing heavily. They stared at each other... They were so close that she could breathe the air which was coming out of his mouth, It was so Intense.  
He moved closer to her, whispering slowly in her ears "I want you, right now, Blake, I want to kiss you so hard! I want my lips on yours, I want to feel you" He breathed heavily into her mouth. He could feel her heart beat against his chest.

But Blake quickly pushed him and he fell quite hard on the floor pulling Blake along with him..they both laid still for a second. She was on top of him. she tried to move away but Penn pulled her back in..Penn pulled her up and this time she was sitting on his lap,facing him and they both remembered their first time, which was in this exact position... Penn pulled her closer to him... She struggled to get out of his grip but he turned out to be stronger than she thought.  
They didn't speak for some seconds... They were both breathing heavily... His hands were holding her waist so tight that it was even hurting her...

"Penn, let go" she said with a very calm and quiet voice. "I'm barely wearing anything"

"I know!, but I don't want to" he wanted to kiss so hard, he wanted to feel her lips on his, he wanted that right now.

"Penn, stop it! Please"

"No, not today, Blake" He pulled her closer to his body, she was shaking a little, his hands were caressing her bared waist, slowly moving all the way up to her shoulder blades and her neck. The feeling made her whole body go numb. The sensation was so powerful.

"Stop" she breathed harder while his touch got more intense

"Noooo!" He got closer to her mouth.

A nostalgic feeling had indulged its' self onto both of them. His arms were tightly wrapped around her waist while she clinged herself to his hard muscular chest, and her head on his shoulder. Basking in each other's ambiance, creating each other's warmth. He looked down at her, his eyes dulled by the darkness of the room. He gave that quirky smile. Caressing her supple cheek, he lifted her chin; their noses almost touching. She could feel the warmth of his breath brushing the top of her lip. She starred back into his seductive brown eyes.

He'd part his lips slightly, lean in towards her, yielding to the soft strength of her deep blue eyes, that engulfed him, gaining in strength until she found herself wrapped up in him, body, heart and soul. Very slowly, he touched his lip with hers. it was slow, sensual and breathtaking. He pulled her quickly deepening the kiss. Their lips moved together sweetly as one. She could feel him smiling which made her smile too. His lips were so soft and urgent on hers,trying to express all that he felt for her. She slowly pulled was so intense. They both just starred at each other for some seconds, reflecting on what had just happened.

The kiss was hard yet soft; fiery but wild and seemed to have lasted for forever. In that one kiss, She then knew what was behind that quirky smile, and it made her love for him, grow even more.

She liked the way he held her...she didn't care If she was half naked and she was sitting on his lap, all she cared about was that she was with the person she wanted to be with.

"Penn, I think we're getting late to go to work, let go of me now"

"How can I, you look so sexy right now, it will be inhumane to let of of you" Blake giggled in his embrace...while she was trying to get out of his grip, she realized there was something, which was getting harder by the minute in his pants, "ummm, I think we should really go right now" Penn realized she noticed that he was having a little bit of a problem in his pants... Now he was really embarrassed "I'm sorry about that, but don't blame me, there's a very sexy girl on my lap and she's barely wearing anything" Blake giggled a little..."well, deal with it" she realized she shouldn't laugh at him. This was a serious issue and he couldn't go to work if he had something in his pants pointing out.

"I think you should go to the bathroom, and deal with your issue, I'll get dressed"...

" Or...or...or. you can make my job easier If you help me deal with it"

"ewwww grosssss" they both giggled together at the situation...

Blake pulled away from him and guided him to the bathroom...minutes later Penn screamed out "Blake, I need your help" she rushed to the bathroom and burst out laughing  
"I told you I'm not offering my help"... Penn was really having one of these moments...he needed help and having Blake laughing at his was not helping at all... "fine, wait here" Blake came in seconds later with a black jacket..."wear that, it will cover it up"

"That was not the kind of help I was looking for but I guess it will do" she giggled while getting out of the bathroom. This was not a funny situation for Penn though... but damn it, he covered himself up with the jacket and they both headed to work...they were both half an hour late so it's obvious the crew would be teasing them

" Eummm, you guys realize that you're late huh? Why is Penn's hair such a mess?seriously what have you two been doing..." Chace said with a cheeky smile

"Fuck you!" Penn said while interrupting Chace's lame conclusion.

"Ohhh, C'mon stop the interrogation Chace!" Blake added.

"we were just...ummm. you know... errr... having coffee... and we lost track of time. That's all"

"Okay then! Let's get back to work, shall we" Penn pointed out.


	2. Penn and Blake : Friends with Benefits

**Hey guys! Okay this chapter was hard to write, I have to admit. But i hope you guys enjoy it anyways, Please review and let me know what you think. There will be a little bit more of drama in the next few chapters but I'll try to make it fun. Enjoy it and let me know about my flaws so i can improve.  
**

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"Okay, guys, I want this scene to be as romantic as possible... It is the first night since Serena and Dan will be coming home as a married couple and it should be special" Josh explained to them

"Feel the love! Ready...ACTION!"

"Welcome home,sweetheart" Serena gets closer to Dan "You're mine now, only mine" Blake's heart melted as she said those words to Penn but she was portraying Serena and she had to be strong.

Music was playing in the background while Penn took Blake's hands tightly, pulled her body close to his and they both displayed fluid movements while they danced.

"I love you" Penn said while gracefully turning and twisting her around the room.

**_I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy._**  
**_I'll be your hope, I'll be your love be everything that you need._**  
**_I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do.._**  
**_I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on A new beginning._**  
**_A reason for living. A deeper meaning._**

**_I want to stand with you on a mountain._**  
**_I want to bathe with you in the sea._**  
**_I want to lay like this forever._**  
**_Until the sky falls down on me_**

"This song is special to me, you make me feel alive, Mrs Humphrey"

"I feel lucky to call you my husband, I love you Dan"  
Blake's eyes started to tear up but she was trying to hide them...

"CUT! That was great! we'll go again in 10" Josh yelled out

"Blake, are you alright" Penn asked

"yeah...ummmm...i'm fine, I'll just go rest in my trailer for a couple of minutes"

Penn was shocked by her reaction but he felt concerned about her, so much that he rushed to her trailer. He saw her sitting on the  
small sofa with her knees bent and her hands covering her face. He was shocked...

"Blake?"

She turned towards him and it was then he could see her eyes glisten as she fought to be strong.

"Go away, Penn"

He got close to her and said very quietly "I can't see you like this, Blake. I'm not going anywhere" He could feel the dampness of her skin as he placed his hand upon her cheek.

Penn took her in his arms while she held on tightly to him. "Talk to me, tell me what's wrong, whatever the matter is, I'm here for you, okay?"

"you wanna know what my problem is?... Fine, I'll tell you" she replied to him angrily...

"You are my problem, Penn, I cant seem to fix this. You are stuck on my mind. Why did you kiss me last week? Do you have any idea how much it hurts. You seem to be doing just fine, but that kiss was so meaningful to me, I can't let it go... I can't let you go. That's the problem, I loved you for so long"...She paused to breath in... "Do you have any idea how hard it was to get over you"

Penn was shocked at her words but angry too.

"Are you fucking serious right now? I spent months crying myself to bed... Seeing you everyday on set was so hard. I had to pretend that I was fine but i was so miserable,Blake. I couldn't let you go either. It was as hard for me as it was for you. Every fucking time I saw you, I felt like I had to tell you that I still loved you but I wasn't strong enough. You were the reason I'd smile everyday and now you were gone and I had nobody. I spent my 24th birthday alone. I was so miserable, Blake" Penn's face reddened and silent tears poured out from his eyes

They argued and shouted at each other. It was like they were so angry at each other. They both wished they had never broken up and it was clear that they were both hurt.

"Did you expect me to be happy and move on from the three amazing years we spent together? I was not over you, Blake, and..." he paused for a second... "I'm probably still not over you"...Penn said while quickly pulling her against him and quickly pressing his lips against hers...Their mouth moved as one, his lips connected with hers. They didn't wanna let go of each other. The feeling was so pure. He kissed her harshly and she stayed frozen in his grasp while he wrapped both arms around her waist. Their lips were hard onto each other's...

They stopped for a second to gaze into each other's eyes. His hands caressed her neck, slowly sliding up to her flushed cheek and once again he pursed his bottom lip tightly over hers. Suddenly the atmosphere was so calm.

"Penn!"

"What is it?"

"Did you just undo my bra?" she breathed against his mouth

"Eummm maybe... maybe not"

Without the slightest warning, he removed her dress. Blake's breath was stuck in her throat.

She wasn't expecting that but she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He slowly removed his pants off while she quickly removed his shirt. Penn began kissing, touching, biting and exploring every inch of her body with his mouth, his tongue and his hands. For the first time, she forgot that she was a married woman. The bliss of Penn's touch sent an earthquake through her whole body. He stands in front of her, grasps her hips and gently bites her neck to which she responds quite positively.

Penn's lips devoured her. His tongue explored her mouth and her neck and her ears. With one finger, he pulls down her bra "God, you're beautiful" he murmured into the curve of her neck. He couldn't stop staring at her. His teeth found her breast and her nipples, his tongue torturing them until she moaned in need.

He removed her panties... Blake bit him hard on his chest and an electric shock ignited the nerves in his neck, his arms and his shoulders. He guided her hands to his growing length. She squeezed it slowly feeling the muscle flex. Penn grew harder in her hands. He wrapped his arms around her. His chest hair scrapes against her, his erection pressing against her, the feeling is pure. He bites the nape of her neck.

Blake begged him to stop by crying "ENOUGH...Penn... stop. The. Torture"

She wanted him inside of her... But he wasn't ready to give in. He was teasing her and he loved it.

Blake wasn't going to let him have all the fun. She pushed him away with force and got over him. "You want to play it like that, huh?" she said while smiling at him.

"well, you know i could just leave you like that" she said while caressing his Increasing length...

"I'll probably have to keep you wanting more" she kissed him slowly on his chest while descending down to his erection. Penn was moaning harder. He loved it when she takes control. Blake was enjoying his reactions but she was teasing him...

"well I'll have to leave now" she said against his ears. And slowly lifted herself up moving away from him.

"Ohhhh no, you're not going anywhere" He pulled her in, forced her legs open, clasped both of her hands in his, his fingers in between hers and he very quickly eased inside of her. The movement was harsh and rough. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations of feeling him. He curled her wrists with one hand, imprisoning her hands behind her. He kisses her wildly, ravaging his mouth with hers He smiled ever so slightly, looking in some ways like an uninhibited child, as he gazed down at her. "Damn, you're beautiful". He trails soft bites and kisses along her shoulder. Blake feels shy and exposed but she is with the one she loves so she doesn't care about anything else.

Penn was fast into her and it was hurting her. But the feeling was more than getting hurt, it was a moment of lust and envy. "Arrrghhhhhhhh, damn it Blake" They were both moaning harder by the minute. She squeezed his arms hard as he was thrusting into her. He was deep, really deep and her body was responding quite fairly. Within less than 5 minutes she collapsed onto his arms, moaning louder and feeling helpless. Her body felt boneless and numb. Penn was the only one who could make her feel that way.

Seconds later, Penn followed, clasping Blake tightly as he reaches his own climax and calls out her name and gripping for dear life onto her. His breathing is ragged into her ears, in perfect sync with hers. They both sinked slowly onto the floor gazing into each other's eyes. It was an overwhelming feeling. Blake curled herself into his lap. Her head against his chest and very subtly she inhales his sweet intoxicating scent.

"I missed that" Penn whispers against her neck before they both fell into a deep sleep.

(Hours later)

Soft lips brushed across her temple, leaving sweet tender kisses in her wake. Blake opens her eyes reluctantly while Penn gently plays with her hair.

"Ohhh my gosh! We are going to be in so much trouble, Josh will kill us"

"I don't care, as long as i have you" Penn replied and kissed her tenderly.

* * *

**So that was chapter two. I'm not used to writing love scenes, so please tell me where my flaws are or if i exaggerated. Ryan and Zoe will be on the next chapters, so expect drama. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi guys, So this is chapter 3. Please let me know where i'm going wrong. I'll try to get better. **

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"Right here, right now you in? Penn lashed out

Blake giggled at his enthusiasm...

"I'm in"

Within a few seconds, their clothes were rift off and Penn found himself on top of Blake...

The feeling of their body onto each other was sensual and when they were together, nothing in the world worried them.

It was the 3rd time this week that they had spent the night together experiencing with each other's body. They'd care about nothing else as long as they were together.

Penn kissed her forehead while she curled herself onto his body. His arms were wrapped around her waist and he gently caressed her arms. Blake was playing with his earlobes and she rested her head on his chest. She'd count his heartbeats until she fell asleep and she wished she could just stay like that, in his arms, forever.

Blake caught him looking down at her, smiling.

"why are you smiling like that"

"Because I'm exactly with the person I wanna be with right now"

Blake smiled shyly.

"I love you, Penn" she replied and they slowly fell asleep together.

(hours later)

The first glimpses of the morning sun trickle through the blinds on the window. The atmosphere was calm and the only thing that could be heard was the breath they'd take in and out and the birds singing outside.

Very abruptly, a disturbing sound was heard. It was Blake's phone. It woke Penn up while Blake was still sleeping on his arms. He picked it up without seeing who was calling. His eyes were barely open...

"Hello?" he said quietly.

"Who are you and why the fuck are you answering my wife's phone?"

"I...ummmm...I...I " Penn was astounded. He had no idea how to respond. There was two solutions; either admit who he really was or pretend to be someone else. Either way, His wife was indeed with a guy, at 4 in the morning, and no excuse would make Ryan feel better. But Penn preferred to go by hiding his identity.

"I'm just a friend and how about you speak to me a little bit more politely"

"Ohhh, just fuck yourself and give the phone to my wife. I want to speak with her. NOW!" Ryan insisted.

"She's in the toilet, and she's not feeling well. You should probably try calling later"

Penn didn't wait for Ryan's reply. He disconnected the phone and bent over to Blake.

"Sweetheart, wake up"

Blake was not a very easy person to wake up. She'd always sleep so deeply but Penn was a pro to wake her up. He was so used to her and her little habits.

Penn got close to her face and gently started to tickle her ears. It only took him 4 seconds and she was already awake begging him to stop. But what Penn said next made her feel like her heart was going to jump out of her chest.

"Ryan called and he seemed really angry"

"What?" Was the only thing she could say. Her heartbeat was racing and it seemed like they could stop at any moment. Her hands were shaking and her mind had stopped working, questions popped in her mind faster than she could process them. She could barely talk.

"wha...When...I..."

Penn interrupted her trauma

"He asked who i was, and i said i was just a friend, but that didn't seem to assure him any better. He might call at any moment, he really wanted to speak to you"

Blake stopped Penn from talking by putting her hands around his mouth.

"Wait!, Penn, please tell me it's one of your stupid jokes and that you're just trying to pull a prank on me."

"I wish" He said in a-sorry-kinda-tone.

Blake stared at him. He looks the same yet so different. Same hair, same face, but a different smile, there is no smile. She feels the sense of urgency in his movements, the sense of helplessness.

Blake's thoughts were interrupted when the phone ran again.

There was no turning back. She had to face him sooner or later. And facing him on the phone seemed like the most appropriate way.

"Hi Baby!" She tried to sound as calm and normal as possible.

"Where you at? I got home early this week and why are you not at home at 4 in the morning?. I was so worried,baby. Who was this guy i talked to earlier and what is he doing with you at this hour" Ryan kept babbling on and on and on.

She was dying inside. She had no answer to his questions. She was in an apartment having sex with Penn, how was she supposed to tell him that. Still in shock she turned the phone off. She didn't know how to respond to that. And she was scared.

"You alright baby?"

"yeah... Well, no, I'm not"

They both remained silent for a couple of minutes.

"Babe, this is wrong, what are we doing? I'm cheating on him, I... I feel like a piece of shit" a tear came scrolling down her cheeks. Penn totally understood how she might be feeling. He pulled her against him and made her sit on his laps.

"Hey, listen to me" He said while whipping away the tear that had reached her cheek.

"baby, stop, I love you,okay? Whether you're with him or not, and I'll respect your choice, if you think we should stop, We...We will" It broke his heart to say that but it was the right thing to do.

"No... No... I want you more than anything, Penn, only you, but its so hard for me, and he doesn't deserve what i did to him and neither do you. I'm so selfish and I don't deserve your love or his."

Penn wasn't going to let her feel like that. He had to reassure her. He doesn't have a clue whether it's right or not, but it was just something he had to do.

"You didn't do anything wrong, my love." He held her closer and continued "We'll work on him, okay? Trust me, we'll be fine. As long as we're together nothing can come between us. No matter what decision you take, I'll be supporting you, I promise"

Penn kissed her tenderly and they held onto each other trying to forget about everything and just embrace the moment that they were together at that instant. Penn was more scared than Blake. He knew he could lose her at any moment and the thought of that killed him. Blake fell deep asleep on his arms. It was the only way she could feel safe.

Penn was on the verge of crying. He was so scared that this would be the last time she was with him. He just starred at the beautiful blond sleeping next to him. Her beautiful golden hair flowed in waves to adorn her glowing, porcelain-like skin. Her eyes, framed by long lashes, were a bright blue and seemed to brighten the world. It did brighten his life. She looked like a small child and watching her sleep so peacefully made a tear run down his cheeks. He was not ready to let her go. He wished he could have her for the rest of his life. He'd never love a woman as much as he loved Blake and he wanted to love and cherish her for the rest of his life but he had no clue on what the future holds and that scared him.

Half an hour later, Blake woke up, feeling very insecure. Penn was nowhere to be found in the room. She rushed to the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen but was still disappointed. "Did he just leave me? Without saying goodbye? He probably preferred to escape this whole situation, afterall i'm such a mess, I shouldn't have allowed this to happen" She said to herself while palming her face.

"Penn" she cried out trying out her luck one last time.

"In here, sweetheart" Penn screamed from the rooftop.

At that moment, she started smiling to herself feeling relieved that he was not gone. But then again, why would he go, leaving Blake alone. He was her Penn, the one who'd do anything for her, the one who could make her laugh till she no longer could breathe, the one who always promised to be there for her.

She rushed upstairs, smiling just like she'd found some of her favorite chocolate bars, she was feeling very happy, even though she had no idea why. Penn was sitting on one of the roof's borders, holding out an envelope in his left hand.

Blake walked very slowly to him, stabilizing her breaths, looking straight in his eyes, confused, scared, of what might be in the envelope.

"This is something very special to me, Blake, and I've kept this for so long. These are the things i treasure the most and i want you to have them. I don't know if I'm still gonna be with you, tomorrow, or ever again, but a part of me knows we will always be connected, even if we are miles apart."

"Why are you talking like we are never gonna see each other again" She said angrily.

"How dare you? I'm ready to give up everything for you, Penn. I don't mind breaking up my marriage to be with you. If i'm with Ryan I will never be happy, I will never be able to be myself, like you allow me to. you..."

She was abruptly interrupted by Penn, "No, Sweetheart, as much as I want you with me, I don't know if it is the right thing to do, I just want you to be happy"

"For god sake's Penn. Stop it! I am happier when i'm with you, Please, don't tell me to go to him. I don't want him. i want you" She told him. Her eyes were full of sadness and Penn could read them very easily.

"Blake, go, run to him, talk to him, and if he forgives you, I want you to stay with him, If not, I promise you i'll be here waiting for you. But right now, the best thing to do is face him and tell him the truth"

"So, in other words, you just want me gone for good. What if he makes me go through hell because of what I did. How can you say such a thing. Don't you love me? Was this just a game for you?" She yelled at him, angry but she was more scared than ever. She didn't want to let go of Penn. She looked at him, straight in his eyes. For a moment it felt like their eyes spoke to each other. It was so intense.

Blake felt like she could read his face, there was no smile, he looked like he was gonna collapse at any second. He was in pain. It felt like the pain was spreading throughout his whole body and he was couldn't do anything about it.

"Looks like you don't care. Fine! I won't be sad, I'll move on from you, i did it once, i will do it again...i'm going away, for good!" She brushed the tear from her eye and ran the opposite direction...

She started running down the stairs, when a hand gripped her hard, so hard that it really hurt her arm..

"Stop this Blake. I love you. How can you say that I don't care. I have been miserable since we broke up. I want you too, I need you."

Blake interrupted him quite harshly,"Then why do you want me to go?"

"Take this envelope and read it when you're alone after you talk to him. Then you decide with whom you wanna be"

"I'll be waiting for an answer, even if that means you won't be coming back, I love you so much" He said and kissed her passionately, like he would never kiss her ever again...

* * *

**A/N: So i hope you like this chapter. I know i left you guys with a little bit of suspense. but you will soon know what is in the envelope. **


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been really long since I last updated. I'm sorry I kept you waiting but I had some important exams and I didn't have much time to write. Anyways I really hope I don't disappoint with this chapter. Please let me know what you think. **_

* * *

**__**

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong  
**_  
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_**  
**_  
To try and apologize for my mistakes_**  
**_  
But I just want you to know..._**  
**_  
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand_**  
**_  
Give you all his hours when he has the chance_**

**_Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance_**  
**_  
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!_**

Penn held on to Blake, one last time, before letting her go. He could feel her breaths and her every heartbeat through their embrace. They shared a desperate look before parting ways.

This could be one last goodbye, for good.

As Penn looked up from the window of his room, he saw the dull grey clouds covering the city as if to try to put a veil of obscurity over all of its inhabitants and he watched the window as it collected splashes from the rain which soon turned to streaks of liquid as if they were racing each other to the windows base. He was feeling like one of the droplets, competing with the other to reach the window base except in reality, he had poor possibilities of winning.

He was sitting beside the border of his bed, with his knees bent over, and his hands palmed over his face. All he could do was wait, even if it meant waiting for an unfavorable response.

* * *

"Where the hell are you, Blake? Just pick up the damn phone, for god sake" Ryan shouted.

This was the 14th voice mail in the last 2 hours. She didn't feel like talking to Ryan right away. She wanted to gather her thoughts together first. She could easily just choose Penn and lead the life she always dreamed of, with him, or she could choose Ryan, and appreciate the comfort he offered her and not ruin her marriage. Either way, she'll have to let go of one of them and letting go of Penn seemed most appropriate.

She swore to love and 'adore' Ryan for the rest of her life. How could she be so selfish? Ryan was caring and the perfect husband. But it was different with Penn, her heart lurches for fear that she'll never see him again and her stomach ties itself in knots when they're apart.

Why was she not feeling the same with Ryan?

One was her 'sweetheart' the other was a 'bitterheart' and she could easily tell them apart.

She felt like her knees were getting weaker but she kept walking to her undesirable destination, to face Ryan.

A part of her really wished she could just escape from this situation or just go back in time and be more careful this time.

She was blaming herself for cheating on Ryan. He may have had many flaws, but he did love her and cared for her well-being.

She stayed still at the front door for one minute and regardless of the feelings or potential consequences, she opened the door, her hands were shaking. She was nervous. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating.

She walked inside the apartment, her steps were slow, well calculated and quiet like she'd came in to steal something. She was feeling guilty and quizzical.

"Aunt Blakieeeeee" Wyatt, Blake's four year old nephew, shouted from the swimming pool at seeing Blake step inside the house.

"Surprise" Robin shouted out and ran to hug her little sister.

Blake's body seemed to have shut down. Her face went slack, her mouth slightly open, body unmoving, and color draining from her face as she stare wide-eyed at her sister...

"Ryan planned this all along, he wanted to surprise you. It's your second year wedding anniversary tomorrow and Ryan wanted to make it special for you, so he organised everything. In fact the rest of the family came along. They have all gone to the grocery store with him."

She let out a sudden sigh, open her mouth to speak then snap it shut, gulped and with a little more success she finally succeeded in saying something which came out raspy and barely audible.

"I've missed you so much" her cracked voice spoke. She wrapped her arms around her sister and brushed away the tear that had escaped from her eye.

"I hope those are tears of joy. We are going to have so much fun this weekend, and especially you, I hope you have something special for Ryan too, huh?"

_  
'Something special?, I sure had something special for Ryan, I cheated on him with her ex' _but she quickly brushed her negative thought away.

"Come, talk to me. I want to know everything from A to Z" Robin dragged Blake to the dining room and made her sit on the chair.

"So tell me, have you guys talked about having kids yet and ..."

"Robin, stop, we talked about it, and...

"And..." Robin interrupted excitedly

"we are both very keen on starting a new family, but he's got four films lined up this year and he will barely be at home and I don't want to go though these things alone. So we decided to wait some time and let everything take its own pace"

"I understand, but hurry!" Robin joked

Their conversation proceeded with Robin's children's achievements at school and Wyatt's wrestling competition

Blake and Robin had always been very close. They used to talk about everything. Robin was always supportive of Blake's decisions. She was the person Blake would go to when she needed someone to talk to, the one who was always there and knew what to say. Robin had impacted who Blake was by teaching her the values of pride and hard work and like any other older sister she has been a role model.

Abruptly, a familiar voice was heard which seemed to be approaching the room where Blake was. The atmosphere had deepened. This was it. She had to face him. Now.

Ryan got inside the room and stared at Blake. Just stared. Nothing else.

She could feel a tight congestion building up in her chest like she was about to stop breathing.

She shifted nervously in her chair, her hands intertwined with each other repeatedly as she fidgeted with them. She watched the room, corner to corner and trying not eye him. She could no longer control her hands; they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm as the colour drained from her face. Yet she was ordering herself not to run, even though that was the only thing she wanted to do. Run.

"So I'll leave you guys alone, I know you didn't see each other for over two weeks"

Blake gave her sister a desperate look, like she was begging her not to leave the room but in vain, she was left alone with the one person she was fearing the most.

"Come in my arms, Blake"

Blake stood still, looking at him, cheerless and despairing but did as she was told.

"Listen, baby, I love you. I want to spend every minute of every hour with you right now"

"But..."

"Shhhhh...No...I know what happened, Penn called me earlier and he explained everything, you don't need to apologize, I'm just really happy you're with me right now, I'm sorry I over-reacted earlier"

_'Why was he apologizing for, I'm the one who messed up'_

Ryan pulled her and connected his lips with hers, tenderly.

"Go, change into something more party-ish, and then... After the party. You. Me. Alone. I got a surprise waiting for you tonight" Ryan said while leaving the room.

_'A surprise' _Blake could easily guess what kind of surprise he meant and she was definitely noteager to spending the night with him after what she had done.

But she obeyed and went in her room to change. She opened her enormous closet door and grabbed the first dress she found and quickly put it on. Thoughts were ravaging on her mind

_  
'What did Penn tell Ryan about last night?... Did he tell him the truth?... Why was Ryan so calm?... Did he forgive her?..._

She wanted to call Penn and ask him right away. She was really angry at him for not telling her about his little plan. She quickly grabbed her bag and pulled out her phone but while she did so, the brown envelope fell on the floor. It was so heavy, she used both hands to pick it up. She wanted to open it right away but she preferred to call Penn first and inquire about what he had told Ryan.

She started dialing his number when her phone showed a new notification at the top of the screen 'You got a new voice-mail'  
She quickly listened to it and she could not believe what she was hearing. Her heart had nearly stopped beating. She was angry, really angry, even worst, she was enraged.

"Blake, I hope you get this message before you talk to Ryan. So listen, I talked to him right after you left. I told him I had organised a sleepover for the whole cast and we watched movies together and fell asleep. I had Leighton tell him the same story so I think he bought it. You don't have to tell him the truth. He never has to know what really happened" He paused

"I want you to know I've taken this decision after a lot of thinking and I'm not entirely proud of lying to him or whatever but, I just could not stand the idea of him rejecting you or even judging you, you deserve better than that and I just hope you forget about the week we spent together. Please concentrate on your future with him... I... hope... you.. know that... I really did love you Blake, and I shall always love you but you belong with him...It's not fair to him or to me that you have to choose, so I'm making your decision easier by asking you... to...let me go" His voice started to crack up at the end. He was obviously hurting.

She felt like her heart had been ripped out.

Suddenly there was an aura of grey around her. It was a mist that wouldn't rise. A state of depression that she couldn't see herself through.

She felt a terrible weight on her shoulders. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on her and she couldn't straighten up or catch her breath entirely.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

She should have been crying, but she was too numb to even think about crying.

There was a giant hole in her heart and she knew nothing would ever be the same.

Her eyes were puffy from crying. She was dehydrated, and sore. Sobs raked her body, no one should be able to cry that hard. She was indeed helpless.

The sudden, deep pain in her heart was so bad, she felt like her whole world had come crashing down on her, and she collapsed to her knees sobbing in her distress.

She wiped her tears away and stood still looking down at the envelope in her hands... She slowly detached the upper part of the envelope and ...

"Blakieeee" Wyatt jumped on her aunt's shoulders from behind.

"come, quickly, I want to show you my back-flip"

Blake held on to her four year old nephew and disregarded the envelope on her bed.

* * *

**_A/N: Okay guys, I hope you like this chapter. The envelope's mystery will be revealed in the next chapter. I still have one last exam but I will try to upload as soon as I can and thank you for all the reviews. _**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I kept you waiting. I was supposed to publish it two days ago, but my laptop crashed right at the moment I was saving my chapter and everything that i had written was gone. So I had to start all over... But anyways I finally reveal what's in the mysterious envelope. So k****eep reading!**

* * *

"Blakieee, Blakie, Blakie... look! look here! I learnt that from Ryan...he showed me how to flip"

Blake faked a smile at cheerful little Wyatt.

" wow that's so impressive. You're the strongest little boy of this whole universe... C'mon, hop on, lets go see what's happening in the kitchen"...

Wyatt was excited and jumpy on Blake's back.

The kitchen was so enormous, with long fuschia curtains surrounding the every corner. The rest of the furniture were in wood, driftwood, that brought comfort to the room. The kids were all playing in the swimming pool while the over-twenties were cooking, laughing and helping each other out with the cooking but when Blake got there, everyone had stopped talking. It felt like they were hiding something from her and she hated to feel left out.

"Hey guys! It smells so good in here. How can I help?"...Ryan had an angry grin on his face and that confused Blake because ten minutes ago he was so gentle to her... She walked to him, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him gently on his cheeks, and questioned him about his angry-face.

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself" He signed and regarded Blake shrewdly.

"I'm so sorry for misjudging you earlier, I had no right to doubt you! and I hope what i'll do next will be worthy of your forgiveness!"  
Blake looked confused...

"Come to the balcony, with me" he took her hands, intertwined his long fingers with hers and guided her to the huge, floral balcony.

"Close your eyes". Blake grinned and flushed a disobeying look at him

"Alright. keep walking...I'll cover your eyes"

"Be careful...there's a step, okay? Walk a few steps forward... turn to your left...here you go... we're nearly done"...

"ouch! Ryan, you're stepping on my foot"

"Sorry babe, but you're such a slow walker"

"Ryan i'm gonna kill you"...

"Okay!... stop here, open your eyes very slowly in 3...2...1..." Ryan said while releasing his hands from her eyes.

Blake looked at every corner of the huge balcony...

"What is it?, there's nothing here"

"look up, babe" Ryan whispered while guiding her face to the sky above them.

Seconds later, the sky started to lit up with hundreds and hundreds of fireworks. From red to blue to green, The sparkles made the atmosphere dazzling, spectacular and very sparkly! The sky was blistering and glowing above them.

"Happy Wedding Anniversary my love" He whispered and held on to her waist tightly while she looked above her, amazed.

Despite trying really hard to not cry, Blake's eyes started to tear up. It felt like a magical moment, but it was indeed realistic and a romantic gesture. Ryan pulled Blake closer to him, looked her in her serene, deep, soft and shining blue eyes.

"you are mine. And shall always be mine... Forever...Together... I'll always love you. All the gold and diamond in the world are not enough to buy the love I have for you...You, sweetheart, are my one and only"

Blake responded with a shy yet sweet smile.

At that moment, she held on to her husband, and forgot about everything, even Penn. The dark sky was illuminated by the sparkly colors and it felt like they were living in some kind of unseen world.

"I love you" Ryan whispered against her neck.

Blake slowly touched his chin with one hand and placed the other at the back of his neck, caressing it gently, playing with the little hair she felt brushing against her fingers...

They starred into each other's eyes while the fireworks lighted them from above. Ryan slowly touched his lips with hers, "You're beautiful tonight!" he said between the kiss...Blake responded by deepening the kiss, gently brushing her tongue against his. Their mouths soon moved as one, complementing the other. Blake cared about nothing else at that very moment. She was with her husband, the one she vowed to love for an eternity.

She pulled away from the sweet and tender kiss. They both stared into each other's eyes for some seconds before joining the rest of the family inside...

Blake had a different glow on her face, she was cursing herself. While she was 'doing' her ex, someone was waiting for her and cared for her.  
She could not recognize herself, this was wrong, and she realized it, perhaps it was just a little too late

"Holaaa!" robin snapped her fingers in front of her dreaming little sister, waking her from her thoughts.

"You ok?, you look stressed" Robin questioned her sister.

"Ummm...yeah...I'm fine...I...I need to be alone for a while" Blake replied while walking away from her sister.

Blake's eyes were glossy, kind of lost and just not there. Her lips were trembling and her hands were shaking, something wasn't right.

There may be 16 years of difference between them, but if someone knew Blake better than anyone else, it was indeed Robin.

Robin preferred to leave her alone and let her gather her thoughts together for a little while.

-1 hour later-

Everybody was at the dining table, ready to eat and Blake was still in her room. Robin understood the issue was worst than she thought.

She rushed her way to Blake's room only to find her in their dad's arms.

"Awww daddy's little girl" robin said in a jealous-kinda-tone!

"I love you Daddy! Dad loves me more...Go away, Robin!" Blake grinned...

Blake may be an adult but she'd always act like a 5 year old when she was with her parents. Though today she had a good reason to act like a child, she was hurting herself and she needed to feel love and secure.

"Dad, would you mind, leaving me alone with her" Robin spoke...

Ernie, their dad, released his hands from Blake's, kissing her gently on her forehead before leaving...

Robin sat next to her sister who seemed heart-broken and sad.

"Blake!" She whispered, her hand stretched forward to tuck a brown strand behind the blond's ear, a task that was hard to accomplish since Blake shrugged her hand off of her.

"Listen, I know when something is disturbing you, I can tell by your -depressing-teary-eyes-face... talk to me...What's wrong? Did something happen?" By now Blake's heart was hammering in her chest

"What?...No...I'm fine...Really...I don't know why you're getting this impression... I...ummm I feel absolutely great"

"Blake, listen, I won't judge you, you're my little sister, I..."

"Robin, stop!, I'm fine" . Blake spoke...This was frustrating, she was beyond frustrated. She took a deep breath and focused on the her elder sister again.

"Really? you're fine, huh?... Blake, I heard you cry earlier! Do you have an explanation for that?" Robin shouted... and not because she was mad at Blake for lying to her but because she knew her little sister was hurting.

Blake was shaking. She felt like a tight congestion was building up in her chest but she spoke...She had to...

"I...ummm...I've...done something... really bad"...Blake's voice dripping with hurt and all those tears she was holding back.

Robin held her sister hands, a gesture that made Blake feel assured

"There's nothing you can do that will make me judge you, tell me about it" Robin spoke.

Blake always told robin everything, whether it was about her first boyfriend, her first kiss, or her first break-up, They always had a close relationship.

"This...was wrong...and ...I...ummmm...i'm not proud if it" Blake managed to say.

Robin listened attentively to her crying sister as she went on "This...it...it's about...ummm...it concerns...Pe...penn" ...

Robin's eyes had widen... She had not heard this name in over two years. Silence draped over them as they both sat there still.

Penn and Robin were always very close. Penn always considered Robin as the older, caring sister he never had. He could talk to her for hours. Blake was even jealous of the relationship Penn had with Robin.

Robin felt like someone knocked the breath out of her at hearing the word 'Penn' coming out of Blake's mouth. It echoed in her mind over and over. Her cheek stung a little before her brain registered his name.

She was the only one who knew how hurt Blake really was. The Break up had completely destroyed Blake...and she'd be lying if she said she was not affected too, She felt like she had lost her little brother. It was painful.

Robin was like the love journal of Blake and Penn. She knew everything about their relationship. She was aware that Blake was madly in love with Penn, even wanting to marry him, but Penn wasn't ready...And who could blame him? He came from a completely destroyed family. Marriage was not on his radar and Blake couldn't accept that. They had different goals in life. He wanted to enjoy his young adult life; she wanted a family.

Robin felt a tear roll down her cheek. It was like a reflex action every time she saw Blake cry.. She wiped her tears away and stared hard at Blake whose face started to turn into a darker shade of red.

"Listen, sweetheart, I don't want to know what you and Penn did...Even though, It's not very hard to guess!... but if you feel that you are not happy here, it's preferable, for both you and Ryan, that you tell him the truth. Your life will be miserable if you keep swimming in your lies. Forget about other people's opinions. Think about yourself and your happiness. I'll support you. I'm here for you"

At that moment, She dropped her shoulders in defeat. Blake knew her sister was right_... _ "I'll think about it, Robin, but please don't talk to anyone about this. I have to speak with Ryan first"

"whatever you decide, just follow your heart" Robin said while pulling her sister closer to her chest.

Talking to Robin made things easier for Blake. She knew she had to be strong and tell the truth to Ryan. A tear rolled down her right cheek, she held herself together hoping she won't fall out. She wished the earth would just swallow her  
whole at that moment. It was going to be hard!

* * *

After dinner, the whole family with the exception of little Wyatt, went to their respective houses. Wyatt argued to stay at Blake's house for the night and after much difficulty, Robin had agreed.

Blake went upstairs, read Wyatt a bedtime story and he soon fell deep asleep... She thought the quicker Wyatt fell asleep, the sooner she could go to bed and avoid Ryan's mysterious little 'plan' he talked about earlier.

Blake had a happy smile on her face after leaving Wyatt's room. He looked so peaceful.

Blake was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She was lost in her thoughts until a knock was heard on the door.

"Come in" Blake spluttered through a mouthful of toothpaste... Ryan was standing at the bathroom's door, his pj's hanging off his hips. He's bare chested and he's looking at Blake like he's crazed with thirst. He gazes at her impassively, then smirks and comes to stand beside her. Eyes locked. Marine blue to pale brown. Blake rinses the toothbrush, her eyes never leaving his. "How can you look so beautiful" her face lit his words..Ryan pulled Blake by her waist and guided her to their enormous bedroom.

She pushed the door open to be greeted with the light scent of red roses. Her eyes flickered in the dark. He flipped the light switch on to reveal what was laying there on the ground. The words "I'm sorry" were spilled by roses on her bed sheets. _'Holy crap!' He was making the situation more difficult!_

They both clambered onto the bed and sat cross-legged.

"Two years ago, on this same day, it was the greatest night of my life" his tone is gentle. A slow,wicked grin spreads across his face.

"And i wanna live this night all over again, tonight" his eyes were glittering. He stared intently down at Blake and kissed her lips tenderly and gradually deepening the kiss. He pulled her close to his chest while he lowered himself on the bed. She moved at the same rhyme as him, their mouth not leaving each other's, until she finally found herself on top of him. He slowly tried to remove her dress while Blake thoughts were interrupted by what her sister told her earlier...  
_  
'What am i doing? Sleeping with two men at the same time?'_

"Ryan... stop!... I... Ummm...I'm really tired tonight... can we..."

"Did I do something wrong? What...you don't like the rose-petal theme?" Ryan kept finding reasons for Blake's reluctance..

"I...Want to sleep right now!. It's late and I have work tomorrow"

Blake didn't wait for his response. She tossed and turned away from Ryan. She clearly disappointed him and ruined his plan, but she wanted to speak to Ryan about what really happened with Penn before doing anything.

That night, she was unable to sleep, her tears drenched the cold pillow her head was resting peacefully on. The picture of Penn's face tormented her the whole night. It terrified her!...

The way Penn would always curl up to her side to sleep and the way he snored lightly at night and refused to admit it in the morning. She missed everything about Penn and its only been a few hours since she last saw him. _How was she going to live without him?_

* * *

The following morning, Blake woke up, her eyes puffy, her hair a mess and suddenly, the weight of reality came crashing back to her when she remembered where she was spending the night. She felt lonely. There was nothing but the cold pillows next to her. She pulled out a pair of pajamas and remembered she had worn the exact PJ's when she was with Penn. Penn's smell was still draped on it and it was painful. It ached her heart a little. _He was not here!_

She went back to the empty bed, trying to get her emotions together. She melted her face down in her pillow, yelling out loud at the situation she was in.

"urgggg! What is that" She shouted when her hands felt a piece of paper below her pillow...

"oh my goodness!, The envelope! I completely forgot about it" She quickly ripped the upper part of the envelope and opened it...But she was interrupted... Again!

"Blakie! Why are you shouting" Little Wyatt said while directing himself to her aunt's lap...

"Oupsss, I'm sorry! did i wake you up, sweetie?"

"I want more sleep"

Blake laughed at his nephew curling himself on Blake's lap.

She gently played with his hair and soon got back to the mysterious envelope while he slept peacefully on her lap...

She removed most of its content out...

Tears threatening to spill down her cheek when she saw what was in it.

Blake narrowed her eyes, her vision was starting to get blurred with tears.

**_"20th September 2010 : First fight_**  
**_ 23rd September 2010 : Second fight_**  
**_ 2nd of October 2010 : I lost you"_**

The first page made Blake feel like her heart had stopped but what she read next made the organs and tissues of the body unresponsive.

"_Everyday since the break-up, I wrote you a love letter. Letters that I was hoping I would give to you to try to win you back... but soon you moved on from X to Y to Z...I was lost so I stopped writing them. You were gone and I couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened if we hadn't drifted apart. I was wrong to push you away... Now that I've written that, I want you to look at the bottom of the envelope. There is a 'little something'..."_

Blake could barely breathe...Her every heart beat was faster than the precedent. She quickly searched at the bottom of the envelope and removed a small blue box...

She went on to read the remaining of the page.

"_A couple of days after you left, I was in a terrible state of mind... I wanted you back... And I didn't have to think or wait any further. You wanted a family and a wedding, and I was going to give you one. Soon after I made up my mind, I called your sister, Robin, to help me pick out a ring for you which is in the little blue box. She helped me pick out the ring. I was going to propose to you. I was ready to commit fully and provide you with the family you always wanted. You were my everything. I felt like I had lost the most precious thing in my life when you left...But a day before I come to you, your sister called and said you went to Rome in Italy with Leonardo Dicaprio. I thought you were happy, genuinely happy, so I gave up my plans, and I begged your sister to let you live your life and forget about the ring... And the reason why I'm telling you all of this now is because I've missed you and I thought it would be easy to move on but it wasn't...__17 years is a long time! The feelings couldn't just go away! and it didn't. I don't care if you hate me after knowing this. I love you, as much as I did the first time I saw you.____ I've waited enough and I want you back! I'll love you forever, Blake, and forever never ends..._"

Blake's mouth dropped open. She stared at the letter in disbelief. She was frozen. Suddenly there was an aura of grey around her. It was a mist that wouldn't rise. A state of depression that she couldn't see herself through...She felt a terrible weight on her shoulders as she looked down at the ring. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on her and she couldn't straighten up or catch her breath entirely..The pain in her heart was so bad .Her tears were running down her face like a severe rainfall... Her heart was spiraling into a deep abyss. Shattering the warmth and confidence from within, quickly the feeling of security diminishes and confusion fills in their absence.

If only she hadn't gone with Leo on that trip, Penn would be have been hers right now. Only hers!

* * *

**A/N: So... The mystery has been revealed... Please let me know if you think it's bad and if you wanted something else to be in the envelope... I know Penn would probably not buy a ring but this is how I wanted the story to take its course. So I hope I didn't disappoint. Please review and let me know.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Where the hell are you Blake? We can't start shooting without you... The chauffeur went to pick Penn and he's on his way to your house... Hurrryyy up!" Leighton spoke angrily.

Blake was listening attentively to her voice-mail until she heard the word 'Penn'...

Her mind completely shut down at hearing his name.

How could she possibly face him right now?

She was furious at him for keeping this a secret for so long.

Penn had warned her not to look in the envelope... _But why did he give it to her in the first place? and why did he change his mind after talking to Ryan? Urggg.._.She was going crazy. Maybe she should have listened to him and not open it. Sometimes, living in ignorance is better than knowing the truth if the truth was going to hurt someone._ Too late!_ She was already hurt and deeply in pain. The thought of Penn being her husband was a torture to her weak body. The vision of how her life would have turned out flashed in front of her eyes. Penn would be waking next her every morning, he'd take care for her, he'd cherish her for the rest of his life and kiss her like he wouldn't ever want to let go. Penn was always her greatest supporter and she missed not having that anymore.

Blake looked down at the pink sapphire ring. He really picked the perfect ring. He'd probably spend days trying to decide on every little detail, It was surrounded by small heart-shaped white diamonds. It was even more perfect than the one she was wearing.

"No, I have to be strong, and move-on... Maybe I married Ryan for a reason. Maybe Penn and I were really over... and maybe...We... don't belong...together...maybe this ring should be to someone else." Blake talked to herself as she was getting ready to go to work.

Blake glanced at herself in the mirror... 'Urggg horrendous' She thought to herself at seeing her puffy eyes and her messed-up blond locks.

A blaring sound of a car's horn was heard outside and Blake rushed to get to the waiting car. A ray of light was shinning through the window and Blake's golden hair looked even more golden. Penn focused his eyesight at her beauty. One strand of her blond hair was getting all over her face as she got in the car. She was glowing. Penn was mesmerized.

Blake put on her earphones and sat quietly next to Penn. Not even a_ 'hi_' or _'how are you'._.. In fact, She completely avoided him... _That was harsh_! Penn relaxed back into his seat, perplexed about Blake's behavior.

The drive was awkward, really awkward. Penn wanted to talk to Blake but she was totally engrossed in her music and she definitely had an angry grin to her face...

The car left them at the studio's entrance and Blake made her way out, directing herself to the hair and make-up department while Penn followed closely behind her, still very confused... 'Why was she behaving like that? It doesn't make sense' Penn was so confused and he hated that feeling of being left-out. He eased his hands around her waist and pulled her close to him and fiercely grabbed her arm...Blake was shocked by his move. Her eyes widened and her stare had deepened into his...

"What's wrong?" Penn lashed out, angrily.

"Let. Go!" was her only words before she went into the trailer.

_Weird!_

* * *

"Alright, guys this scene is the turning point of the movie. Penn, I want you to lift Blake up and bring her to the bedroom, where you'll gently kiss her...And, Blake, your hands will be around his neck, while he will slowly guide you inside the room...Okay! Everyone...Ready...On your mark...Action" Josh yelled out

"Mrs Humphrey, have i ever told you how much I love you"

"Ummmm"

Penn got closer to Blake, feeling her every heart beat against his chest, "Well, how about I show you how much I love you" Penn said his line so beautifully, it made Blake's eyes twinkle with happiness...

They both stared into each other's eyes for a couple of seconds while Penn slowly lifted her up, her legs were wrapped against his waist, her hands were tangled in his hair while he held her tighter and moved to the room...Blake was still gazing into his pure brown eyes... Penn got closer and closer to her face, they were both smiling...

"I...love... you, Mr Humphrey" Blake took forever to say her line... She wasn't really into the scene but nevertheless, they carried on.

Penn pulled her head closer to his and stared intensely at her pink luscious lips...He didn't wait any further and he pursed his lips against hers, Blake couldn't take any breaths in...His lips were already on hers, his tongue was already entangled down her throat. She couldn't take it anymore...Her mouth was sore..He was deep and so engrossed in the kiss...She pulled away, but Penn couldn't let go, he pursed his lips against her again and bit her lower lip gently...and "Ouch!".._.'ohhh shit! That's not on the line...I wasn't supposed to say that'_ Blake thought to herself...That was going to get her into so much trouble... But that really amused Penn, who was smiling sardonically at her reaction..."Are you okay?" He grinned wider and ran his thumb down Blake's cheeks.

"Cut!...What the hell are you guys doing? Should we get a room for you two? We'll go again and try to say your lines correctly this time"

Penn wasn't paying much attention to Josh words. In fact, his stare was directed to Blake's cleavage.._.'What the hell is he doing? He's not supposed to look there... Hello...look up!'_ Blake thought to herself as she caught him staring down at her.

Blake just wanted to get the shoot over with. She was still really annoyed at Penn.

They did the exact same scene six more times before josh cancelled the shoot "Okay guys, We're calling it off for today, It's already past midnight...We'll take it from here next week...Penn, Blake, I need to talk to you. NOW!"

The crew were closing the sets while Penn and Blake followed Josh into a room.

"Okay ,guys, listen, I don't know what is wrong with you both and especially you, Blake. but I want you to work it out...right away! Today was a disaster... And I don't want this to happen again...understand? You may leave now." Josh was speaking in a very authoritative voice.

"I don't understand why he's so mad...I thought that was fun... And by the way, did you notice their faces when we got the lines wrong? " Penn laughed and kept on rambling on about their silly mistakes.

Blake apparently didn't find it that amusing. Her face was unreadable. She had no expression at all...

"Penn, Why did you buy the engagement ring?" Blake spoke cutting Penn's great enthusiasm.

Penn's mouth opened slightly at hearing her angry tone...

"So, that's why you're mad at me?"

"I'm not mad. I'm furious... Why did you buy this ring? Why didn't you tell me this before? You said you loved me, Penn, but loving someone doesn't mean letting her go..."

"Blake, I understand how you're feeling right now. Trust me! This wasn't easy for me either. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life"

"Ohhh really? It didn't seem that hard either, since you preferred to keep this a secret and move on with your life"

"What the hell, Blake? Was i supposed to keep waiting for you?"

"Why are you shouting? You're not the victim here...I am" This was a lot to take in...Her eyes were red and  
teary.

"I know! I know! Listen, I'm sorry I kept this a secret but I couldn't wait any longer and I thought the only way I could get you back was if you knew the truth" Penn held her by her shoulder blades and stared deep into her blue eyes... He could see how hurt she was. Her lips were trembling, her every breaths were faster than the precedent. She looked in a really terrible pain and Penn hated when she felt like that.

"You knew how much I wanted to marry you... You were the only one I wanted to spend my whole life with. I loved you so much and I was willing to do anything to make it work but then, you said you didn't want to settle down anytime soon...or ever. I was heart-broken Penn, You really think I can forgive you now that you come to me with a ring when I'm already married to someone? How is that fair? Why did you do that?... I ...Hate...You for that, Penn...I really hate you"

"Blake..." Penn lashed out... He was horrified by her words and it really showed in his facial expression.

He looked down at his hands, which he clenched and unclenched nervously, his face deepening to a deep red. After a moment, he looked up at her again, still unsure what to say.

"It's too late now! You... you have to...let me go...Now! " Blake said those words with so much difficulties and ran to the opposite direction while a single tear came running down her cheeks...

She was gone...leaving Penn, alone.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! okay so there is more to this chapter but I decided to cut it into two parts since it was getting too long...Hence it's shorter than my usual chapters...But please proceed to the next chapter... Trust me, the next one gets way better...**


	7. Chapter 7

Blake got to work, as usual, the following Monday. She was ready to start afresh, without Penn. She hadn't heard from him for the last four days. So, she assumed, he'd really let her go.. Her weekend was bad, really bad. She kept reflecting on her behavior. _Was it right to shout at him like that? He'd probably go through the exact same pain?_ She was really depressed but she knew she'd have to apologize to Penn, today, and make amends... _'I should at least try to preserve our friendship'_ Blake thought to herself as she walked on set. Her eyes were searching everywhere for the one person she'd been wanting to speak all week.

After one good hour of waiting, Penn had still not arrived on set...This was weird since he would always be on time.

Blake made her way to Josh's and inquired about Penn's absence.

"Well, his girlfriend called and she said he wouldn't come to set today!"

_His girlfriend! Urggg...He really did move on then_.

Blake went back to work but her mind was not really in there. All she kept thinking was of the last conversation she had with Penn.

Still very depressed of the horrible day she spent on set, Blake went back home, late at night after having spent 10 whole hours of work.

It was cold outside and the air was full of moisture. The sky has darkened down to pitch black with tiny patches of deep blue peeping through. The heavy clouds hang ominously low and according to reports, a storm could be ravaging New-York city at any given time...

Blake was at home, alone. Ryan had left a voice-mail saying he wouldn't be able to travel back home because of the storm.  
She sat on her huge couch and put on Titanic. It was her favorite film to watch in a weather like that.

The bright lightening lit across the sky, illuminating the clouds. Thunder followed, with a crash that rattled the buildings. Rain came pelting down, smashing against the window panes. Another burst of lightening brightened the dark sky, immediately followed by a low rumble. Lights from the surrounding houses flicker out into nothing. Thunder and lightening simultaneously flashed. Blake wished she'd be cuddling up with the one person she couldn't be with right now but that was not possible since she told him she _'hated him'_. In fact, she hated herself for saying these words to him. She was cursing herself for being so harsh to him. He didn't deserve that.

But,right now he's probably with Zoe, watching movies together, cuddling up on the sofa, drinking hot chocolate together... _Urgggg!_ The thought of Zoe cuddling up with Penn pissed her off... There was something about Zoe which Blake hated...She didn't seem to care about Penn and given her previous relationship records, Blake could hardly trust her.

Her thoughts were suddenly disturbed by the sound of her phone ringing..

_'Who could be calling at 2 a.m?_' Blake rushed to take her phone and didn't bother to look at who was calling...She'd guess it was probably Ryan, anyway.

"Hello!"

"Heyyyy! Blake"

"Penn?" Blake questioned... It really didn't sound like Penn...

"Yessss! It's...mee...H-h-h-heeeeey! Wheeeere d'ya think it is? I neeed yeeeeer goin?" he slurred

Blake could barely understand what he was saying.

"I...Love...You Blake...but...but...but ...Youuuuu...Hate...Me" He sounded so drunk and lost...

"Penn, where are you? Are you drunk?"

"I'm not drunk... how how how...dare you! I'm the soberest man in this room!"

"Penn, just go home" Blake figured he wasn't at home since she could hear the sound of car horns and drunk people talking nearby...

"Noooo...I won't...Why...do you hate me?...I opened my heart to you...I will do everything...just don't hate me, pleaseeeeee"

"Penn, ok, listen, just tell me where you are and I'm coming to get you"

"You're coming?"

"Yes, Penn, now just tell me where the hell are you?"

Penn took an eternity to respond... "I'm at...ummm...errr...Marrrr..Marrlin...Marlin club."

Blake was glad to know it was only 10 minutes from her house...She drove her way to Penn's destination as fast as she could... She was worried he might do something stupid...

Rain quickly subdued the sparks. Thunder and lightening simultaneously flashed and crashed. It was a dangerous night to venture out but she couldn't care about her safety, all she cared about was to get Penn to a safe place...

The environment was very loud and dirty. Blake walked into the Marlin Club, a dusky little nightclub off the beaten path. From around the corner, she could hear the buzz of people fighting, providing a backdrop for the clinking of glasses and the chatter of hundred best friends and ex lovers. She hated clubs, in general. As she entered the joint, the intermingled smells of smoke and sweat and too many people instantly assaulted her nostrils as she inhaled deeply. Penn was nowhere to be found and she was scared she had arrived a little too late.

After searching her way through the crowds, she finally found her way to an empty barstoll in the corner where she caught Penn's eye. She shook her head and smiled downward, relief that he was fine. He definitely looked in such a terrible state.

"BLAKEEEE! you're hereeee" ... "DID I ever tell U…that U are so prewwwttty mmmm" Penn said while snuggling himself on her.

"Alright Dummy! Let's get you home, shall we?" Blake held his hands tight and pulled the other over her shoulders so he could move back and stand up. He was leaning on her, giggling.

They made their way back to Blake's car... Penn was so unsteady that it took them a whole 10 minutes to walk only a few meters.

Blake secured his seat belt and it didn't take long for Penn to fall asleep...

Her eyes were locked with Penn's, and there were no words that could sum up the intense wave of emotion that looked at this man. His hands were still stuck in hers... He behaved like a little 5 five year who didn't wanna let go of Blake's hand. Blake's skin bristled at the touch. The small hairs on her arms raised, despite the heat. She had felt his touch a thousand times but holding his hands was always something special to her.

Blake figured it would be better if Penn sleeps at her place tonight and they could go to work together, the following day... Though she wasn't sure he would be able to work given his current situation...

She drove her way to her house... It was even more difficult to wake him up than help him walk...

"Okay! Let's get you inside and put you to bed, shall we?"

Penn nodded like a small child... They walked their way to the house... Blake had to guide him through his every steps...

"Alright handsome! Be careful here!"

"I ...like it when you call me handsome" Penn said affectionately which made Blake giggle slightly.

They finally got inside the house and Blake laid Penn to rest on the huge sofa...

"Blake?"

"Yes, you need anything?"

"Can you sleep next to me. I don't wanna be alone tonight" Penn said sadly

Blake looked affectionately at him and agreed to Penn's plea.

"Alright but first you you need some clean clothes"

Blake came in some minutes later with Ryan's shirt and a plaid short.

Penn tried to remove his shirt but in vain. Blake laughed at seeing how he struggled to get his shirt off...

"Here! Let me help you with this"

Blake got closer to him and slowly lifted his shirt up which revealed his beautiful naked body..

The plains of his chest were smooth and unscathed. Blake couldn't help herself but placed her hands onto his bare-chest. It felt soft and warm under her cold hands as she explored it. His heart beat was calm and normal as she rested her palm on his chest. His muscles were well looked after and his skin was a tanned bronze all over... He looked dashing and extremely hot!

She quickly helped him put on the shirt which obviously didn't fit him at all...In fact, it was all baggy on his tiny waist... Blake couldn't help herself but laugh slightly at his reaction... He looked so funny but a part of her was sad at seeing how unhealthy he actually was.

"Okay Mister! I'm going to get you some hot chocolate... and while I'm gone, I want you to get rid of those jeans and wear the short I got you, alright?"

Penn nodded weakly... He didn't leave his eyesight from Blake as she exited the room... She was so caring!

Blake came in later and found Penn in his Calvin Klein boxers...

"The shorts don't fit!" Penn said at seeing the perplexed look on Blake's face as she glanced over his boxers.

She giggled slightly at how handsome he looked.

Blake crawled in next to him while drinking their hot chocolate and watching Titanic together.

Blake's feet were tangled with his and Penn's head was rested on her shoulders while his hands laid gently on her hips...Blake played gently with his curls and found herself smiling weirdly at Penn's reaction.

Blake lowered herself and gently kissed Penn's forehead. Penn smiled and caressed her waist slightly before they both fell deep asleep together.

As the wind roared like an angry beast, the rain was hitting the ground like bullets from a gun. Above, the sky was black with the menacing rain clouds until the cracks of lightning broke the darkness. But they couldn't care less of the danger outside...All they cared about was being in each other's company.

_Looks like Blake wish did come true afterall...She got 'her Penn' to cuddle up with her on this pouring night._

* * *

_**A/N: Alright, so here's the second part... Please let me know if this story is still worth reading. I'd really appreciate if you could tell me what you don't like about the story so far and what you want me to improve... And i really hope you could see that Penn was drunk because this part was hard to write...ohhh and thank you all for the reviews...it really helps... P.S: Special thanks to Chiara, Vaish and Rosie for their undying support and all the amazing plakers on twitter and tumblr. ILY guys**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Hey guys...This chapter was really hard to write. I'm sure you'll guess where it was hard but anyways some of you asked for a Ryan and Penn interaction and I will develop that relationship more in the next chapter since I already had a plan for this specific chapter.  
P.S: The parts written in italics is from a flash back. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.**_

* * *

Blake was warm and cozy. Her head was resting on Penn's chest...She yawned slightly and with a mental sigh, she managed to fully open both her eyes... Her mind was fuzzy from the last remnants of a dream but the details were fading fast even as she tried to recall them.

She stared out the window into the dreary scene. Faint splattering sounds came from outside, hissing as lightning struck the sky. Blake could hear the wind tugging at the trees, and small droplets of water left trails as they rolled down the window...It was a scary morning but having Penn curled up by her side made her feel assured and safe.

She raised her body, slowly pulling Penn's head on her lap, paying close attention to not wake him up... The innocence showed on his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. His soft breathing made the world seem to stand still. She looked steadily and intently, in admiration, at him. His thick light eyebrows showed content, but friendly at the same time. He was truly the man of her dreams.

The air was cool and crisp. Blake was engrossed in her thoughts, remembering a very special night she had spent with Penn...

A night she'll never forget!

* * *

_"Do we really have to go to this stupid dance show, tonight?" Penn argued_

_"Well, Anna wrote us a handwritten invitation letter. It will be a shame to decline the offer" Blake responded by slowly stroking Penn's cheeks._

_"Alright... I guess as long as you're with me, I'll be fine" He kissed her gently before going to the closet to find something to wear._

_Penn came out five minutes later wearing an Armani black tux which was exquisitely cut and a perfect match to Blake's pearl-beaded fabric dress. The way the sequenced fabric flowed looked elegant on her long and lean legs. It fitted her flawlessly. The dress molded her torso beautifully, complimenting her feminine shape. It's strapless style revealed her precious collarbones wrapped in her smooth and luring skin._

_"How do I look?" Blake spoke while slowly coming towards Penn... He gulped at how beautiful she looked... No words came out of his mouth... Nothing at all... He just stared at her with a creepy yet sweet smile... _

_Blake reached for his hands and said gently "I hope that's an approved-smile"_

_"ohhh it definitely is... and I know I've said this like a billion times but you really are the most attractive and beautiful woman of this whole universe."_

_"Well, I wouldn't look good without you next to me" Blake said smiling shyly at him..._

_He responded with a gentle kiss and they were both headed to the party..._

_-{2 hours later}-_

_"Are you having fun?" Blake asked Penn who looked in admiration at the dances who were performing._

_"It's actually a great night"_

_Without further notice, rain started to fall down from the ceiling...Everyone looked amazed...The rain came out of nowhere but it was all part of the event and it was supposed to be a surprise. The indoor rain was completely soaking everyone in the room..._

_"Come, Dance with me" Penn said while dragging Blake into the dance floor, twisting her around like they were the only two in the room. They were both completely drenched and cold... The water droplets trickled on their body in a calming and soothing rhythm. Their moves were fluidly executed, performing graceful twists and turns... Her hands moved through his shirt in graceful patterns. It was an elegant, sentimental and romantic dance. When the beat of the song went faster, Penn rocked Blake back and forth and in a fraction of a second, he pulled her close to his chest, gripping her waist tightly with one hand and directed the other to her neck...He breathed her in heavily and waited no further second to lock his lips with hers. Blake slightly parted her lips allowing him to explore her mouth deeper. His tongue danced in all directions against hers giving her a tingling sensation in her tummy. She was breathless. He kissed her harshly, while she stayed frozen in his grasp. Her mouth was sore. The kiss was getting more and more passionate. Blake caressed his tongue slightly. It was a kiss they wish would never end. He bit her lips gently and she ran her tongue over his __lips before they parted...Blake was trembling in Penn's arms. They looked at each other, 'asking' for more. He stared intently in her beautiful blue eyes. She was beaming. He looked down at her, smiled and caressed her supple cheek. He lifted her chin, their noses almost touching. She could feel the warmth of his breath brushing the top of her lip._

_URGGG! why did that stupid song have to end!_

_"Do you wanna go home and..." He looked at her like he was going to rip off her dress right there.  
_

_"Yes" Blake cut him short knowing exactly what he had in mind._

__

{At Penn's apartment}

_Penn stopped the car, looking intently at Blake.. They looked into eachother's eyes for what seemed like hours._

It didn't take long for Blake to pull his face closer to hers and start kissing him passionately. Her hands wandering in all directions on his wet and soaked shirt. She undid her seat belt and sat on Penn's lap, facing him. He deepened the kiss and drove his hands underneath her dress. He stroked her gently with his flat palm and cupped the other hand to her breast... 'ow' her eyes spring in response to his touch. Her breathing's changed. It's louder, harsher. Their mouth explored each other's at the same time... Clearly, they both couldn't keep their hands...or mouths off of each other.

_"We should...probably ...get...inside" Blake managed to say between his mouth..._

_"Are you sure you..."_

_"Yesss...dummy!"_

_They laughed at how impatient they both were to do 'it'._

_Penn got out of the car and opened Blake's door like the true gentleman he always was... He picked her up and made their way to the apartment... He always loved carrying Blake around and make her feel like his princess... Blake was giggling between his neck... He looked so hot with his shirt clenched onto his lean and muscular body._

_They entered the apartment and walked in silence. She peeks at him. He smiles and his lips twitch. Her wet look made her even more stunning. The atmosphere around them changed to an electric, exhilarating anticipation. His head turns fractionally towards hers and she bites her lips as he approaches her._

_In the bat of an eye, Penn pushed Blake against the wall. He's got both of her hands in one of his. He gripped them over her head and he's pinning her onto the wall using his hips. His other hand grabs her wet hair and he breathes her in, heavily, until he purges his lips to hers. She moans into his mouth at the fierce feeling. She opens her mouth slightly giving his tongue an opening. He takes full advantage, his tongue expertly exploring her mouth. Her tongue strokes his and joins in to a slow dance about touch and sensation. He brings his hands to grasp her chin and holds her in place... His erection is against her belly. Holy shit! She can feel him!_

_She undoes the buttons on his jeans and slowly pulls his jeans down simultaneously with his boxers. His eyes on hers the whole time while he unzipped her dress which fell down to her feet.. He picked her up and removed her pale blue lacy bra. Her hands wrapped around his neck. He pushed her higher up onto the wall while he places feather-like kisses across her breasts, chin and her mouth. Her bared back was cold against the wall._  
_  
"you smell so good and..."_

_Blake cut him short by connecting her lips to his again... She never knew how to handle compliments. She was shy._

_She moved her hands down to his erection, stroking it gently but he interrupted the movement by pulling her hands over her head again and pushed deep inside of her... "Arggg" She moaned loudly at the deep sensation. He couldn't wait any longer. His hands explored her breasts, paying close attention to each. She was swelling under his steady gaze. Her hands stayed in his hair, pulling gently as she tried to quiet her loud breathing. He gazes up at her and lifts her by her behind to make her more steady and rocked his growing length in and out of her. No pity! He was harsh. He kisses her, deeply, his tongue in her mouth, absorbing her cries. He thrusts his erection inside her and she cried out loud as he did again and again. He pushed inside her harder. "Aarggh" She cried as she collapsed in his arms... He stills, gazing at her, his eyes bright with triumph. His breathing is harsh. He feels so full. he speeds up and he pounds on, mercilessly. He grasps her hands and kisses her hard, his teeth pulling at her lower lip as he comes and emptying himself into her. They are both panting, trying to slow their breathing. She opens her eyes and he has his forehead pressed against hers. His breathing is ragged. Leaning down, he gently presses a kiss against her forehead then slowly pulls out of her._

_Both of his hands are in her cascading hair. His kiss is demanding. He puts his arms around her and hauls her against his body. His other hand travels down her spine to her waist and down to her behind. He holds her against his hips and they just stared at each other.  
_

_An explosion of peace and serenity overwhelmed them both. The true meaning of life, the love, and the utter wonder on both of there faces. All they wished for was for this night to never come to an end_

* * *

Penn woke up and snapped his fingers in front of Blake's dreaming eyes.

"Hey! Are you okay?"

"Yeah...ummm...I was just thinking about... ummm...stuffs" She murmured.

"Heyyy, so... I'm really embarrassed about last night...I don't even know what I did..or what I said...but...umm"

"Don't worry about it...It's totally fine. I'm glad you called me. I would never want to see you get hurt but you have to promise me you won't drink that much ever again"

Penn smiled.

"Your clothes are probably dried by now, so i'll get them for you"

She walked out of the room to get his clothes when suddenly she heard someone at the entrance door.

"No no no no no" She kept saying to herself hoping and praying it wasn't Ryan.

"Heyyyyy sweetheart! I'm home early" Ryan said while approaching to hug Blake who clearly looked like she'd seen a ghost walk in front of her... "I begged the authorities to let me come home. I couldn't stand the idea of not having you by my side. All I wanted to do was come to you and spend the night together...ohhh...but...You don't look as happy as I am right now... Is anything wrong"

"I...U...No...What?...Ummmm"

"Babe, I'm not sure you're speaking the same language as me right now" Ryan laughed at her not-so-excited-face.

Ryan is an undeniable true gentleman with a pleasant and respectable persona. He truly cared and loved his wife with all his heart.

_"How can I be so selfish" ... "Ohhh wait, I didn't do anything...Penn and I just fell asleep together and I just saved him from a cheesy nightclub." _Blake thought to herself as she tried to console herself from the nightmare she was about to face.

"Blake, did you find my clothes...OHHHH...FUCK! ...ummmm...Hey...Hello...umm..Ryan! ...errr...You're here" Penn looked petrified as he saw Ryan in the house...

"I'm...I'm Penn...ummm... we met some years ago..."

"I know who you are, man" Ryan's face was definitely turning red, especially since Penn was wearing only his boxers.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Ryan yelled out facing Blake who was clearly terrified.

"He...just..."

"I rush to get home to be with my wife, but instead I find her, in a room, with her ex, who's practically naked?"

"Let me explain!" Penn spoke seeing that Blake was on the verge of crying.

"I don't want any fucking explanation from you. I'm talking to my wife"

Who could blame Ryan for being that angry. He had every reason in the world to be mad. His anger was totally justified

"Just tell him the truth, Blake" Penn yelled out

Blake looked at Ryan in his eyes and stroke his cheeks slightly.

"We...ummm...Penn called me at night. He was in some nightclub and he was terribly drunk...and I just thought, that, as a friend, I should bring him to a safe place until he sobers up and rest for some time...That's all... I swear" Blake was shaking.

Ryan looked assured but that was not enough...

"Why is he in his boxers, then?"

"Listen, I just removed my clothes because they were all wet. I don't care about Blake. She's all yours. Be happy for what you have instead of judging her" Penn lashed out. He was clearly really angry at how Ryan spoke to Blake.

_'I don't care about Blake! She's all yours' whoooa well... That hurts!_ Blake thought to herself.

"I'll see you later at work!" Penn said to Blake while making his way out.

"But, it's still raining and you..." Blake said sadly begging him not to leave.

"Let him go, Blake" Ryan interrupted. He was clearly pissed.

"It's fine..." Penn looked one last time at Blake before heading out the exit door.

As much as she tried to take everything in and not cry, this was way too much. Her eyes started to get teary and not because Ryan was mad at her but because she knew she had no future with Penn.

* * *

_**A/N: So, you probably all know that I suck at writing 'Love scenes' But i did try my best. I used that specific flashback because I just read that article where Penn and Blake were at that event where they were dancing in the indoor rain and constantly making out. And I always imagined the evening ended up this way. So I thought it was fun to write about it. Please let me know if you want more flashback or not and if this one was worth it... Someone asked for some Ryan and Penn/ Blake and Zoe interaction and I'll will try my best to elaborate that on the next chapter..ohhh and thank you all again for the reviews... **_


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